A Dancer's Life

1,2,3,4,7,10,15,20

2010-12-06T09:58:00.000-05:00

They all stop and look to me as if I have all the answers. I don't know what I'm doing and/or why I'm doing it.

If I really thought about it; it could be expression of an art form... conveying emotions through gestures and movements... while really being present and true to individuality.

But I'm stuck. I love it cause its my air. But I feel consistent frustration, confusion, and inadequacy. It all just feels so stale (stagnate, zestless, & common). My legs keep going through the rituals and redundancy but my soul screams for more (I hush it).

Droid myself. Repress myself. Hibernate my current state of mind until there is cause/purpose for reinstatement.

Looking for my rainbow after the thunderstorm

2010-12-01T23:47:00.000-05:00

Its these rainey days that drive me a little more insane.

Eyes glazed over and stuck in my thoughts.

Hard to contain the urge to physically express myself every minuet of everyday.

Forcing choreography out for upcoming show (westy kids performing with a choral group), upcoming winter concert, musical rehearsals that must be done before holiday break, and lots and lots nutcrackin last minuet steps. (december 18th performance)

Forced expression of my art form.

Send me to new york with nothing but a song in my head and notebook. Chasing my tail then back to pacing back and fourth.

I am nothing I am everything I am lost I am complete.

The Breaking Point

2010-11-03T22:41:00.000-04:00

Wanting needing to push myself beyond the point of familiarity. Evolving and expanding myself for what.... understanding of my personal artistry.... the movement high.... self gratification.. maybe all of the above.

I don't do coffee, very much tea, no drugs, not much alcohol, no meat or dairy... addiction free... expect I need to move.... I need to feel every inch of me pushing to extremes...

its the only way.

Walking slowly down the buffet of life looking at the ordinary choices and not wanting any of them...

Apply

2010-11-01T22:08:00.001-04:00

In my head I see myself achieving so much... living breathing and being everything I so long to become... but from my wisdom of time spent here I know I have to settle into the place I am now and so I can fully evolve and become what I know I can become.

Adapting quickly to my surroundings packing light so I'm ready for anything.

Accepting and enjoying what I do and who I am while I clip my wings and sore into the passionate/articulate/sensual/precise/artistic performer I know I am.

I heart Dance

2010-10-12T11:28:00.000-04:00

Dear Dance Journal,
I Heart Dance
Yours,
Amy Merli

While knee deep in DNA free class saturday I had a favorite teacher of mine (kendra porter) tell us to remind ourselves that we love to dance. True if I didn't love it I wouldn't spend all my time and energy doing it. Doing it to make nothing and be left overwhelmed in a dark room with my own personal contradictions.

I poor my soul into it. I never feel like I do enough. Judgments surround me from insecure people who proud themselves by belittling others.

I do this for me. Selfish? The arts are necessary for we are what keep people going in times of darkness. The creative light at the end of the hallway. Maybe if I was helping the hungry, cleaning rivers, or helping rebuild houses destroyed from natural disasters I would feel instant gratification by helping the world. But dance (and yoga) are what I know and love and with it I can effect people... hopefully.

average?

2010-09-12T21:02:00.001-04:00

Are dancers average people?

Beware there are dancers among us...

dissection of what was

2010-09-12T20:49:00.001-04:00

licking my lips that is reminiscent of my summer dance adventures.

Workshops with some of my favoirte companies: Cedar Lake Contemporary Ballet, Syren, Nathan Trice, STREB, and Sean Curran.

Allowing my pallet to be broaden all while exhaling the mental barriers I have built.

Hoping to spread the knowledge to my students (starting a new modern class tuesday nights 8-9 at Hartford City Ballet) while intermingling my new experiences.

Shifting my weight back into a routine of teaching... rehearsing... and escaping weekly to nyc to show my love for jivamukti yoga and horton with milton meyers.

"I dance to obliterate duration.
I dance to dignify form as content.
I dance to equalize figure & surround.
I dance to put intuition in conversation with thought.
I dance to demonstrate the great facility & ridiculous limits of the un-accoutered human body.
I dance not to be stuck in one position.
I dance in order to stand up straight.
I dance because you don't have to carry your instrument.
I dance because I can't wait to be asked.
I dance to achieve a vital, non-heroic presence.
I dance to shrink to an irreducible kernel of purified being.
I dance to arouse things out there that have not yet done so to enter my mind.
I dance to have a say in what I submit to.
I dance to forget why I dance." -Douglas Dunn and Dancers

Life's inspiration

2010-07-26T23:17:00.001-04:00

It sneaks around and follows me like my shadow... I try and hold onto it and it just slips away.

I end up like a dog chasing its tail.

I shift my focus and widen my glace and it hits me... the chase it on again. The clock has no meaning and my thoughts flow like a river.

Someday I wanna be inspiration.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EwNYVPUV_xI&feature=related

http://cndanza.mcu.es/eindex.htm

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=poyDOtCkytg

Can I have this dance?

2010-07-24T00:18:00.000-04:00

Its that feeling when all I can think about is the moment.
I'm so completely invovled and I just let go.
All I know is expression and all I can feel is passion.
The only thing that feel right is to repeat until I
cannot catch my breath.

the dance

2010-07-13T22:37:00.001-04:00

We all begin in silence in our own little worlds. slowly we develop and belong. together we function to create unity and alone we prove individuality. the end sets in and the struggle is no more.

Doesn't hit the spot

2010-05-03T23:58:00.004-04:00

Ever crave something? But your not sure what you are craving. I feel this way often. I constantly feel like I want to be doing more.... or I need to be doing more in order to satisfy this hunger. (Hunger for life?)

If I list out all the things I am doing right now it would seem like a lot. But still I want more. I know I'm hard to please and most likely just making a big deal out of nothing.... but I want to accomplish so much more than this world has to offer. So I will not dwell on these stiring feeling and keep my thoughts present while my eye is on the prize.

Off to conquer the world...

Dancing with the CT Stars Photos

2010-04-12T12:32:00.001-04:00

Photos by Ethan Boisvert

Dichotomy

2010-04-11T22:53:00.000-04:00

I love Nathan Trice's class and recommend it to any dancer. I've taken his class about 5 or 6 different times and every time the class satisfied my dancing fix.

Strong source of initiations with an emphasis on intention and clarity. A beautiful blend of dichotomy that leaves me breathless and present. With a stillness in my mind I can become more in my body and be what I need to be. A freedom of movement that comes from a pure source that pushes beyond limitations set forth by the mind.

Movement make me go mmm.

Whats a blog again?

2010-04-11T22:38:00.001-04:00

I think there needs to be an app for this. I seems to be never home.

SO last thursday I got my chance to dance with Sgt Slaughter (I know I know ladies). We wowed the crowds with impressive foot work and over the shoulder lifts only to lose to competition to Mark Twain and Miss Paine. I swear there must have been a miscount.

Other gibberish that seems to be happening is my new work in progress was shown at the event and as well as Ballet Theatre's Showcase. The new piece is quirky, upbeat, and dangerous.... which is pretty much sums up how I live my life. The piece is going to be back in the studio rehearsing so it can premiere for real on the 16th and 22nd of May. Along with Alice (which has an open studio coming up on April 25th). Meow!

Cheshire Cat photo by Nick Caito

tick tick tick

2010-03-18T01:50:00.001-04:00

Sometimes I crank up the internal timer and place pressures on myself for unforeseen reasons.

This is why I do yoga. To balance out all my eccentrics. New poses I accomplished yesterday in class: Mukta Hasta Sirsasana C, Niralamba Sarvangasan, Astavakrasana, and Viparita Dandasana. All of which I would have never been able to do a year ago.

Spring is here time for photoshoots... yoga in the park, weddings to attend and spring performances. Because of the lack of spare time that will emerge in about a week I am pushing my self to have all my choreography done by then (children dances for hartt, ballet theatre studio show, westminster concert, westy's cabaret, alice in wonderland solo and duet, dancing with ct stars duet and a new piece that I'm choregraphing for CONNetic).

How I love me some downtown dancing at DNA! Innovated, integrated, intelligent movement and classes with teachers who are kind and powerfully passionate artists. Mmmm... I was taking a master class on tuesday, during the 5th day of my kidney detox in which I had just ended a three day fast, when I got quite dizzy and over heated during the warm up from moving my head and body in space around. Note to self don't take vigorous classes when detoxing or after a fast.

New photo by Nick Caito

Urban Dancing

2010-03-05T16:11:00.001-05:00

Dance life updates
Alice rehearsals... choreography to finish and choreography to learn
Westminster dance concert last night with my rock star students a few of my piece were nicely executed.
Dancing with the Stars is coming up April 8th... don't miss this show!
Workshops are happening everywhere... Brian Brooks tomorrow at Dance Masters
as well as great companies in NYC
Auditions for upcoming events too!

Spring!

Peering over the ledge

2010-02-18T23:54:00.001-05:00

Consumed by my own thoughts and lost in my own world. I taste movement with every breath and see my mental indulgences everywhere I turn. I am stuck where I am yet I am everywhere. Frozen in time... fighting this instance... losing the sense clock.

My contradictions leave me alone peering over my ledge I created. Turmoil boils within me as I am left to wonder what restraints I have placed on myself and how I can be freed.

My movement is my world. Everyday I am filled, emptied and then left to gather pieces of what could become.

I begin to deepen my breath and at the end of my exhale qualitative innovations seep down my finger tips and fly straight to my soul. I am alive. I am helping young students develop into creative artists, & yoga students understand their bodies, & choreographing from my heart, & dancing everyday with everything I have, & hanging upside down, understanding myself more and more in different ways... and then in a moment this chapter of my life closes it eyes and smiles.

Downward moving dog?

2010-01-31T21:56:00.001-05:00

Have you ever seen a downward facing dog moving down a ski hill? Well, neither have I. BUT today was the first of yoga for snowboarders at butternut. Picture this full gear on in the snow yoga 8am sunday morning... and not to forget the below freezing temps.

After that I proceeded to attempt to fly down a hill on a snowboard.... in the grand scheme of things I think I'm improving... oh but progress does feel tedious at times.

If falling a kajillion times wasn't enough for me or my tail bone I made my way to ballet class and rehearsal. Where I got to set new choreography.... which I am kinda giddy and excited about.

Now I sit... a little uncomfortable in the tailbone area... but I am sitting (for now).

Tomorrow will bring a new excitement of a fun new yoga class that I plan to make advance and innovating. Breathing deeply to clam my nerves before I teach this new class.

Goal till bed time is to practice my arm balances and inversions, particularly forearm stand!

New photos

2010-01-19T23:30:00.001-05:00

Photos By Matt Lin 2010

Connetic Dance 2010

http://conneticdance.com

While upside down...

2010-01-19T23:22:00.000-05:00

While I was hanging upside down the other day I realized my life is pretty cool. True it has its bumps and this and thats. Buts I do some pretty interesting things and know some amazing people. Then it got me thinking (all while being upside down) that make there is something to this upside down thing... the thoughts that I have that may get stuck in my toes get a change to be thought once again.

Life in a recap: silly friends, teaching children to catch fairies, abundance of tendus, vivid music everywhere, respect from my students, love from my family, access to resources to help unleash my creativity, bright colored clothes, keys to an open road, the ability to move my body how ever I like, smiles from strangers, healthy food, a warm network of dancers, and lots of hats!

On another note I took an amazing master class with Stephen Petronio's Company! What a wonderful way to start my dancing day! Intellectually articulated exercises which building into a phrase. I would love to take the class again... I think they are at DNA one more week if anyone is around the NYC area. :)
http://stephenpetronio.com/

updates

2010-01-10T09:40:00.001-05:00

Twice this past week I've been to the new peridance building! I recommend it and the new classes they added. Peridance was a second home to me back when I was doing the limon professional studies program... its nice being back there in their gorgeous new studios. Of course I'm not taking limon right now... it way Taylor on monday with Lisa Vola and Horton with Milton Meyers on friday.

As of right now I'm unsure if I'll be pantless in NYC today....Improve Everywhere

New yoga classes for Amy happening!

Last week in January 8pm yoga starts in winsted at Star Soleil

This week Tuesday 5:45 & Thursday 10:30& 7:30 Yoga starts at A Healing Trail

and also Wednesday 7pm at Hartt in Hartford has already started

e-mail me with questions! yoga@yamymerli.com

Om

2010-01-07T23:59:00.000-05:00

Monday in NYC I took a master class with master teacher Sharon Gannon... one of the founders of The Jivamukti Yoga School. It was a tightly packed class... inches from eating a strangers foot and being jammed into one of the side walls of the room. The class was full of life, energy and good vibes. I did lose one pink sock there... I have plans of searching the lost of found at the school very soon. But other than my sock causality the class was amazing.

I recommend taking class there or with either of the master teachers there.
OM

Hold my breath and take a big step!

2009-11-15T22:35:00.000-05:00

Butterflies in my stomach cause of the up coming events. Its a mixture of being excited and nervous. But its good. I've done a lot of solo flying.... the first time I ever flew on a plane it was alone. On Tuesday it will be my first time flying over seas... and I will be alone. Airports give me this bit of nervous energy... Its full of people who are seasoned travelers who are focused on their destination. I just hope my tenancy to be less aggressive and more carefree wont cause me to get pushed aside and walked all over.

The reason for me to be wandering the airport and the jitters is because I'm going to going to Madrid for a performance! I'm very excited about this opportunity! I will also be teaching yoga, dance and improv classes in Spain! :) I'm packing a journal and a camera!

LIFE UPDATES

2009-11-05T10:51:00.000-05:00

Thrusday November 5th my choreography set on CONNetic dance will be performed at The Pond House Cafe. This is a benefit show will be supporting fund-raising for AIDS. CONNetic will be representing Fuller Movement Center which is a studio in Hartford that I teach yoga at.

Westminster's performance weekend got canceled due to too many cases of the flu. Dance ensemble was back in the studio yesterday... this would have been a rehearsal after a performance but instead we were left with trying to figure out when we will be able to perform and trying to move on to new work.

I've got my eyes set on Madrid!

NEW CLASS TUESDAYS 5:45 at A Healing Trail in Harwinton CT
15 dollar drop in
RSVP mindbody@amymerli.com

Lets FLY

2009-11-05T10:39:00.000-05:00

Anti Gravity Yoga! Recently I took an anti gravity yoga class at OM Factory! A wonderful new experience and makes me excited to experience more! The weightless feeling of being completely suspended in the air is a very liberating feeling. The gentle swinging sensation of the anti gravity swing reminds me of a hammock or a swing-set which only translates into feelings of relaxation. Ahhhhh

In the park park park

2009-09-24T10:51:00.000-04:00

Last sunday the 20th I taught a free yoga class in Elizabeth park. The weekend prior Yoga Direct Lady and I did a acro yoga photo shoot! These are just some of the photos from both events! I hope to have more events soon! :)

Fresh air and natural lighting

2009-09-21T23:33:00.000-04:00

September 20th (yesterday) CONNetic Dance had a free performance in Elizabeth Park. 5 pieces of mine were presented included 3 premieres. Incognito Dancers also performed an open invite improv. The show also featured DJ Originate. Steve from SRC Imaging photographed the performance as well. Over 250 people attended the performance. Great weather, great music, great dancing, and a happily entertained audience. :)

Check out photos in the Hartford Courant

and were off...

2009-09-02T13:50:00.000-04:00

My pool was wave free and sunny and now there is about to be a storm and gigantic waves. I will breath and try to keep my claim sunny disposition even if there are waves bigger than my head.

Projects are on my mind. What a broad word for the things I have in mind. I feel the need to create... I don't want anything to hold me back. So I'm trying to figure out a way to do it all but keep my sanity. I've heard sanity was important to have... we'll see...

a blank canvas

2009-08-24T12:22:00.000-04:00

Working with a blank canvas. I am nothing and everything at the same time. Knowing my potential but nothing has ventured outside of my head. Deadlines drift past me as I turn my focus in a different direction. Stress can only hinder the creative process and I need to free myself of all restraints in order to create.

Step 1... The inspiration- words, memories, music

Step 2... Decisions of what to use- endless options (music, movement, people, props)

Step 3... Beginning rehearsals in the studio

I'm preparing for step three. I'm preparing for step three for three different places, one being a school I teach at that has a show at the end of october, another being the dance company I dance and choreograph for and the last being a solo project thats in the talk stages now.

I must leave and find more inspiration

Just got off the ferry

2009-08-20T08:53:00.000-04:00

Riding on a ferry to Martha's Vineyard. Splashes of tiny specks of salt water splashing our faces. Misty sail boats drift by slowly in the distance. The boat docks and our adventure begins...

Between living afloat on a boat and feeling sand in between our toes we had tech rehearsal, dress rehearsal and two performances.

It did leave us with lots of time to explore and play on the island. Exploring as in bike rides, historical tours, light hours, sandy beaches, and lots of food.

A series of events

2009-08-12T10:53:00.000-04:00

This weekend CONNetic dance will be venturing to Martha's Vineyard to perform at their annual festival called Built on Stilts

This will be the company's 3rd time performing there!

I'm excited because we will be performing my choreography a duet with Elyse Cote and Yoshio Chandler. I will be performing Carolyn Paine's choreography in a group piece involving three simultaneous duets! This performance will be dynamic and inspiring.

Also the stress leading that develops before a performance; including is all choreography to the satisfaction to the choreographer; is every dancer able to perform to their greatest potential; and many unforeseen issues....?

Wish us luck in our performance and check out CONNetic Dance.com

It may be raining outside but...

2009-07-31T10:55:00.001-04:00

It may be raining outside but in here its not! The cyber world never has a cloudy day... because somewhere in the world its sunny.

I have been adding new photos to the CONNetic website from CONNetic photo shoots.

Recently we have had a shoot with Steve from SRC imaging and Matt Lin. These photos on here are from Matt Lin a talented photographer from West Hartford.

The last two days I have spent in NYC doing the SYREN Dance Company Workshop.
http://syrendance.org/

Boundaries-less

2009-07-08T21:03:00.000-04:00

I love doing contemporary ballet but I have short legs and reach about five foot two (most of the dancers are six feet). I enter the classroom and come up to other dancers rib cage. Its difficult not to be pushed aside, kicked in the face or just unseen. I have let my mind get in the way in the past... my troubles with dyslexia... my non classical ballet background.... my height limitations.... my body limitations... but I have been channeling my mind and working on letting it go. Nothing else matters but being in the moment and having every inch of my body feeling alive and moving. I was hesitant to take a workshop with complexions ballet earlier today BUT I overcame my fear and indulged myself. I am pleased with my work in the class. I did not do my best nor my worst. I was just there and present in the moment which helped my mind pick up choreography and tid bits of helpful information. I felt not intimated by the taller ballerinas but in powered to work harder and feel myself be as tall as them. I hope this feeling lasts.

http://www.complexionsdance.org/

aw shoot

2009-07-08T20:54:00.000-04:00

Check out CONNetic Dance
http://Conneticdance.com

Photos by SRC Imaging & Kat Gloor
CONNetic dance is a Hartford based contemporary ballet company
check out CONNetic dance on facebook
http://www.facebook.com/pages/Hartford-CT/CONNetic-Dance/38283164384

I am a dancer and choreographer for the company!

Enders

2009-06-30T00:21:00.000-04:00

Yoga and glamor photo shoots at enders in Granby CT

Traveling

2009-06-30T00:09:00.000-04:00

Summer has been on my taste buds for about a week now. I crave it when I wake. Summer means to me spending time outdoor and spending just as much time indoors dancing. Hot sweaty summer dance classes. Master classes and intensives of all sorts.

I just got off the plane from chicago. My favorite yoga spot in chicago is Yoga Now. After arriving in chicago and wandering the city for a bit my body felt stiff and cranky from flighting at unnatural high speeds and dealing with the delightful people who work at the airport. I came across a yoga studio close to my hotel that offered ashtanga based power classes. (excited) I looked for the next class that my suit my current needs. I came across "Mindful Vinyasa" unsure but curious I decided to venture out there. The studio was in a great location with helpful staff. I enjoyed the class immensely. The instructor was very knowledgeable, gave great hands on and keep everyone focused mentally and physically. I highly recommend the studio and class. http://www.yoganowchicago.com/

lap top rambles

2009-06-10T11:19:00.000-04:00

Another dancer model photo session, with a new photographer Blake Robinson! http://www.blakerobinsonphotography.com/ He has a great studio in Norwalk CT. I highly recommend working with him!!

I have spent the last three days working backstage with some of my dancers and some other dancers all under the age of 10. Its very tiring organizing groups of children. , especially the very young ones. In 3 days this will all be over.... ahhh <- sigh of relief.

New photographer on saturday!! cool outdoor yoga shoot! :)

Life in the fast lane?

2009-06-06T15:50:00.000-04:00

Class, rehearsals, performances, traveling, photo shoots, and lots of smile and laughs. I hope to get more pictures back soon! My new favorite company Cedar Lake Contemporary Ballet!!! I just took some amazingly inspiring master classes with them! :) My little dancing ballerinas will be performing soon. Its almost time to close my mouth and really open my eyes to see their beauty they have always possessed.

April Showers Bring May Dance Concerts and Rehearsals

2009-04-27T09:17:00.000-04:00

Spring is here!! and for some reason everything happens at once... shows everywhere.... choreography to finish... tech rehearsals to attend.... movement to learn.... and I just can't seem to get motivated to shower.

I have 5 different shows for my students (of all sorts) coming up. I'm really worried about getting 3 year olds prepared to be on stage. My company is guest appearing in Ballet Theatre's spring show with Ruth Lewis's choreography and we are preparing for our spring show at the end of june! So much on my plate... hmmmm I need to take/teach some more yoga!

tendu for you and you and you

2009-04-15T21:55:00.000-04:00

Lots of tendus... things that turn into tendus... explaining the reason why we must learn a tendu and teaching students the art of perfection of the tendu. Acceptance of your own tendu and letting go of envy of other tendus. Hmmm its so much more than pointing your feet.

Head shoulders knees and OUCH my hips

2009-04-08T22:45:00.000-04:00

snap crackle POP.... why does that pop. Then the regular citizens mocked the dancers because they must be fools to do that to their bodies with an underlying tone of I told you so. Underlying tones make me make (the things people don't say but you know their thinking). YES I do abuse my body.... but I love it and need it and take VERY good care of it took. and my abuse is different then the average normal abuse that most people don't realize their doing... maybe I should say neglect.

I'm just trying to expand my body's potential all while understand all that it is capable and using it most efficiently. I need a team of specialist to help.... tomorrow is one of those kinds of days. I'm complex... my body is complex... and I am going to figure it out so I can continue to keep dancing and moving and exploring and pushing the envelope.

This is just lying my thoughts out to rest my mind from the nagging I get from every corner... concerns about my well being when I can see they have none for their own and if they would take a second to think they would realize that all I do all day. Why were on this topic would you like to check on my protein intake??

To do... and To did

2009-03-18T14:27:00.000-04:00

To did yesterday I had a photo shoot with Ron Cromton of Creative Image http://www.roncompton.net/
I also did a non-dancer photo shoot with my friend Amanda http://www.modernmaendy.com/ with a photographer named Scott from DFX. I hope for more photos soon (from both shoots).

I have recently updated my website amymerli.com and I hope to update it more soon. I have ideas about graphics but no graphic programs and I have ideas about cool slideshows but little javascript knowledge... minor set backs.

Back in the studio soon to work on new ideas!! Stay tuned!

A blog about a blog... wait what is a blog

2009-03-16T16:56:00.000-04:00

Eventually everything comes in full circle and I realize we are all connected... not a 20/20 series about 6 degrees of separation kind of connection but a hit upside the head with a brick so real you can touch connection.

Blog that makes my blog about a blog

Exciting meeting new people and discovering my place in the world behind a lens.

New people that are great

http://www.peterjcrowley.com/
and

http://www.fineartbyadrian.com/

Some days I'm artwork and I'm fine with that.

I can't sleep

2009-03-15T01:21:00.000-04:00

My head is full of ideas. I want to create. I want to out do myself... I need to express.... I want something moving and orginal. I see it in my head.... It great.... It's complex. I need to start working on this.... But it's 1:30 am and I'm half naked half asleep. I fear the impluse will be weakened by the morning. Maybe if I cling onto this moment I will imprint it into my brain.

Thought to chew on (me not you):
Close/immtamite/never touched or met
Manlipuation and inner monilog
Tossed like a rag doll completly out of control
While also
Gripping onto anything
How to expressive passive aggressive??

That is all

Inspired.

2009-03-07T16:20:00.000-05:00

http://www.billtjones.org/

Inspired.
Just taking a moment to reflect on my morning. Not only living in the moment but breathing and dancing in the moment. Exploring everything my mind and body has to offer and making each moment the clearest it can be. Intention first and foremost. If something has no purpose then why are you doing it.... maybe cause you never looked deep enough to find the intention. Find it... search for it.... cause its there.

PUT YOUR DUKES UP!

2009-03-06T21:47:00.000-05:00

Fists held high. I have to stand by what I know if right. I recently had a photographer try and take advantage of me... short handed me from what is rightfully mind. Photos of myself. Signed contract that I would be given photos instead of payment. The sly photographer said he would only give me the rest of the images if I was to get another model into his studio... abuse of my connections and how wrong to do that. He felt he was justified because his photographs are gold.... HA. That are nice.... but thats just cause I'm awesome. ;) The last of the Kenneth Peters photographs:

I shall hold my head high and say I'm worth more then donating my time.... I am valuable and I demand to be treated so! and now I'm moving on!!

Sometimes....

2009-03-06T21:44:00.000-05:00

Sometimes... I work so hard my body is sore for days. From wednesday I still have trouble touching my toes. But I love it still. It makes me smile... all of it! From the pain to the heart ache and all of the let downs. Its all worth the moment of wonderful exhilaration that frees me from my daily burdens and allows my soul to shine through to the world.

on the train to the city

2009-03-02T12:58:00.000-05:00

I always find my self on the train to NYC. Never sure what is going to excatly happen when I get there I just know when I have a day off I must go. I can not live there... for I must live here right now... some place I can feel alone at time when I want to be. There is no alone in NYC... you are always being stepped on (and I always allow myself to be stepped on).

But I had a wonderful day in the city that kept me smiling the whole time I was there.
A wonderful class at DNA with Paul Matteson (which was a surprise). He is a master at weight controlled and weightless movement. He was very down to earth which made the class very welcoming and comforting. He has many intriguing messages and thoughts to take with us... I hope to take his class again.

I also was a moving window diplay for Lululemon on Broadway in between china town and Soho. It was pretty amazing... tourists were pointing and staring and taking pictures. I wish I had a couple pictures to show and remind myself of being a window display. I did it all for a free t-shirt! :)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rCaHbOLGXfY here is a cool inspiring dance company!

Preparing for a dress rehearsal I'm running tonight and then rehearsals coming up for my next show at Charter Oak CONNetic dance performing in the Ted Hershey Marathon!

Just a thought

2009-02-17T15:08:00.000-05:00

Is it normal to hurt in strange places??? Just wondering.

complaints to the chief

2009-02-17T14:57:00.000-05:00

Its like highly contagious like the common cold... (ahh choo)... but twice as hazardous to ones health... laziness. 65% of what you've got. Thats all I asked for. Jaws dropping, sighs sounding, and eyes rolling as if I asked for 110% (which I could have) all I wanted was for them to go through the motions. Build up stamina so I don't have to listen to complaints during show time. Its rude. Maybe its cause my height deficiency doesn't intimidate a squirrel.... or cause I don't use harsh strong words and speak loudly.... (which in return means walk all over me).... after everything is said and done I'm left with nothing but complaints to the chief. Just another day in the life of a dancer.

very dizzy

2009-02-14T11:43:00.000-05:00

I've been a busy little bee!
Next weekend I have:
February 21st 2009 a performce with CONNetic dance in Boston Buy Tickets here

February 20th, 21st & 22nd 2009 My Westminster Students perform my Choreography in Little Shop of Horrors

February 20th & 21st 2009 My Watkinson Students perform my Choreography in Guys & Dolls

Last week my dance company got mugged in the middle of our rehearsal for our show next weekend see fox news:
HERE

One of my dance ensemble members had a horrible diving accident with a diving board and can not dance in our show at the end of this month

I happened to still find time to meet with Kenneth Peters and do a photo shoot with fabric and a fan... one of my favorite photos below and above in the title.

Hope nothing else going wrong before next weekend... fingers crossed!

Congratulation's to my close friend Amanda on getting engaged last night on friday the 13th.

New Studio

2009-01-17T13:39:00.001-05:00

Ventures away!!
I hope in the jeep early friday morning to battle rush hour traffic and make my way to New Canaan to work with a artist who uses photographs for his drawings. Very cool! Despite it being 7 degrees outside I really enjoyed the journey to his place and the experience with a new photographer! We had many wonderful photos.... I only fell once.

Its great meeting new people and being able to get wonderful photos in return!!

A new year

2009-01-11T21:02:00.000-05:00

A new year.... a new start?

More photos. I've tried to conquer jumping photos. I'm still working on them... getting the "perfect" shot (or at least something that will make me happy for a little bit). I've also keeping raising the bar on my photo shoots by adding more ideas and playfully pushing myself.

Out of NYC and straight to the studio. CONNetic rehearsals have started up again for our performance in Boston on the 21st of February. I'm choreographing a tangoish group piece. Its a great feeling having a creative outlet... not only to express myself as an artistic pawn but an artistic creator.

sometimes there is nothing left to do but breath. After the complexities and passionate tangles of our relationships (that we try to manipulate) they leave us frustrated and breathless. so then there is nothing left to do but....

another chapter down

2009-01-07T15:18:00.000-05:00

My pages keep turning. All in the same moment I can want that pager to linger for ever and just disappear. Its hard what I do. Its painful, tiring and frustrating. With every breath of success there is another window of higher standers that feel impossible to get to. I forget sometimes just to breath in my moment and remember my grass is just as green.

I am happy not to be in NYC right now. I don't like it there. I don't like it with socks I don't like it in a box. I am happy to be home... even in the sleet and freezing rain. Far far away from the taxis, awful subways and millions of angry people. I've realized that its not that scary to wake up at 5:30 everyday and that I don't need anyone's approval but my own. Those are lessons I can take anywhere.

NYC slicker

2009-01-01T16:02:00.000-05:00

Ahhh the smell of new york. Busy bustlely streets filled with people trying to get somewhere. (pedestrian street racing) The consist motion and movement. There is something wonderful about the convince of the city a bodega on every corner and a taxi cab with the wave of the hand. But I give it all away at the end of the day to have space to breath and the stars in the sky. I'm just not a new yorker. I try. I walk the fast pace and talk the talk. But I get itchy and have to leave that ruthless city. I'm currently semi-commuting to NYC during my dance intensive. True, I am very exhausted from waking up extremely early (which is anything before 9 for me).... BUT I don't mind sacrificing my convince for a piece of mind.... a little alone time filled with silence.

Snow dancers

2008-12-26T10:47:00.000-05:00

Dancing in the snow! Right after the fluffy white stuff fell I was urged to jump and play in it. Last sunday I jumped on to my snowboard and ungracefully fell down the slopes. There is not a lot of photos to share that experience....
My most recent photo shoot done with a dark blue sheet and tons of snow just before dusk. A race against time and the winter chill.

another count down!

2008-12-05T23:38:00.000-05:00

One more thing to count down to (other than christmas!) Taylor Winter Intensive!

Woohoo! Focus just on my technique.... ahhhhh heaven.... ahhhhh. :) I'm in need of a good technical ass kickin!

News from the Paul Taylor Studios!
news

:)

1 nut down 3 to go!

2008-12-05T23:25:00.000-05:00

Nut count down! woohoo! (nutcracker)
Today was a busy bee day! Lots of running around.... some tears and nerves from some children but overall a busy day. Actually this whole weekend is busssy. The whole weekend is gonna fly by and leave me spinning in circles!

As of right now my face is covered in make-up.... excuse me... caked in make-up... yuck! Just like a clown. he he he

I have been trying to figure out some javascript things... which confuse me quite a bit.... my friend amanda sent me think link to help me make a gallery for my photos.... so I'll share it... I'm not sure if i'll put it on my website or not... we'll see

Getting back into the grove!

2008-12-02T17:53:00.000-05:00

After a break intermission (thanksgiving break) things are coming back to life. I just started back up at Watkinson again. This semester I'm teaching the middle schoolers yoga/dance and my high schoolers modern and hip hop three times a week. I'm very excited about this semester because I have many reoccurring students and I hope to help them grow and blossom into wonderful technicians/performers/artists/who just generally better people. Friday I start my first rehearsal with my Hot Box girls for guys and dolls which I'm very excited about also. Friday will go smoothly if I'm prepared because my guys and dolls rehearsal is sandwiched between teaching and then another rehearsal for my little jazz dancer's nutcracker.... which is all before my nutcracker. Wowee.

Of course saturday doesn't get any better.... Dance Connect rehearsal before two nutcrackers and then on sunday I have yoga teacher training before my last nutcracker.... good thing westminster doesn't start till next week!

The funny thing is that once my grove really gets back on we will go on another break again. silly groves.

The moments in between

2008-12-01T22:08:00.000-05:00

Its those in between moments... the ones that some days I looked pasted to get to the next thing. Right now there is something happening in those previous blank spaces. From clearing of the mind, to stretching and core exercises, to modeling. My day off from yoga teacher training I was at The Hartford Conservatory's Jazz Nutcracker rehearsal and right when I came home my sister grabbed me and made me model some of her vintage clothes. The smallest dress I ever put on.... completly unforgiving. I am thankful for my loose clothing and un-corset like dresses.

Day by day I'll keep living in the moment cause thats where its at. The joy can be forgotten if you just live for whats is to come.

days off

2008-11-25T12:55:00.000-05:00

Ahhh thanksgiving break.
Yesterday I spent my day in NYC taking a couple of classes at STEPS with one of my favorite horton teachers JoLea Maffei. The most difficult thing about going to the city once and a while to take a bunch of classes is that my body wishes it could do more than it can. I really am in the need of a high paced technically demanding modern/ballet class in the hartford area. Its very difficult to drive 45mins to teach classes everyday, go to rehearsals and then find the time (or times) to take classes I need to take in order to keep my body in shape. Ahhh the contradictions.

All in all a good day in NYC!

Highlights of my day:
Bum hitting on me (one of those not a real bums with an ipod and a nice watch but still asking for change)
Deranged new yorker walking nonchalantly in between oncoming cars
Drunk man in Indian restaurant singing to the live music and smoking a cigarette inside before stumbling to the streets

jitters

2008-11-20T22:20:00.000-05:00

Here are some photos from our CONNetic rehearsal for our show next saturday. I feel quite a bit nervous for this show... I never get nervous before a show.... until now.... nervous before a show on pointe... very nervous. The element of falling on my face is now in place.

Hopefully we have a strong show and nothing too terrible happens!!

Weird aches and pains

2008-11-20T12:13:00.000-05:00

The hip flexor pain. A recent reoccurring pain probably cause by lack of deep abdominal strength and too much anterior pelvic tilting. As seen in photo before from rehearsal tuesday evening.

Another pain that is kinda weird or goofy (like my chiropractor calls it) is muscular pain by my lower right ribs. Must be some intercoastal muscles that I decided to engage last night. But thats pain I can live with for a day.

On the menu for dis evening is scaring some impressionable high schooler for life at a call back dance audition for guys and dolls.... sending a big chunk of money into PTDC for the winter intensive... jazzing up my ipod touch with accessories.... and harming my toes by rehearsing till damage is irreversible.

ahhhh just another day in the life....

TO DO LIST

2008-11-17T14:51:00.001-05:00

I make lists. I need lists... So today's to do list includes:
Starting a workout routine using this book I have Conditioning For Dance. Its a wonderful book and I don't use it as much as I should. I was reminded of this book over the weekend while I was taking class in NYC at DNA with one of my favorite upcoming choreographers Darcy Naganuma http://www.naganumadance.com/ because she used a couple mind-body centering exercises from that book. Back to my to do list, I will use a couple exercises, Discovering the iliopsoas, leg floats up, gluteal tension release, and several foot exercises during the next couple weeks. I hope to see a great deal of improvement in my left hip pain and range of motion.

The next thing on my to do list is tonight I am running an audition at Westminster for Little Shop Of Horrors! In preparation for the audition I like to come with material to teach and back up material. There is nothing worst then being unprepared for an audition but sometimes no matter how much you prepare something still goes wrong. I'm hoping for best.

There is one more dance audition at Watkinson School on thrusday for Guys and Dolls. This will be a very different style of dancing than Little Shop of Horrors. Both should be fun and will help me figure out the pace for the rehearsals and how much I can accomplish before Christmas break.

Those are just the priority of the to do list. I've got a chiropractor appointment tomorrow, pilates class in the morning, followed by dance showcase for my watkinson middle schoolers and rehearsal into the evening. Ah life of a dancer.

Currently!

2008-11-17T14:03:00.000-05:00

I am currently performing with a group called CONNetic Dance. A contemporary ballet group in Hartford Connecticut, with a dynamic range of classical ballet, contemporary and modern. CONNetic Website We are rehearsing for a show we are doing next saturday in New Haven, Rebound. Here is some photos of our last performance at 5x5. Check back frequently for more performance updates and photos!

Kickin' IT Old School

2008-11-17T13:56:00.000-05:00

Back in the day I was in a company called Full Force Dance Theater Website here I thought I would just share some of the photos from that company. I preformed with them for two years before moving to New York City. Most of the photos were taking by Ron Crompton who is a wonderful dance photographer in CT.

Yoga Model

2008-11-17T13:40:00.000-05:00

Model? Dancer? Model?

I'm currently getting certified by Lotus Gardens with my Yoga Teacher Training. My friend Amanda asked if I could help her out at yoga direct (http://yogadirect.com) and model some of their new products! I'm also mentioned in Amanda's yoga direct blog!
http://yogamaendy.blogspot.com/

Just last week I did some modeling for Libra Vintage check it out for sweet vintage clothes Libra Vintage

From my fingers to my toes

2008-11-17T13:27:00.001-05:00

Welcome to my new dancer life blog. Life has been busy... rehearsals... teaching.... photo shoots.... auditions.... yoga training... performances... taking classes... and driving to get to these places. I hope this will be a great place to share the things I'm experiencing now and express the things I'm learning.